What Do You Expect?

I boarded Direct Air flight #5915 on March 5th for a flight to the sunny south, fully expecting that the airline would fly me safely home again 10 days later. Ah - no! Six days after my departure, the airline went bankrupt and I was left to fend for myself. Feeling angry, disappointed and ripped off, I spent hours searching the Internet for a flight that wouldn't break the bank. It was the height of Spring Break in Florida and flights were hard to come by. After a few frustrating hours, trying to get a coherent answer from the airlines, and an assurance from VISA that they would refund my loss, I took a walk and found myself wondering...what exactly had I expected when I booked this flight? I fly a fair bit and haven't given much thought lately to my expectations for travel. Air travel certainly isn't what it used to be and, over time, we - the flying public - have been forced to lower our expectations incrementally. Slowly, we've traded our hopes for a hot, healthy in-flight meal, for a cold, starch-heavy 'snack'. At the last minute, we're now asked to hand over our credit cards to pay for that suitcase that used to fly free. And the free movie, that provided distraction on those long trips ...four dollars please! Truth be told, most of us have swapped the probability of a great flying experience, for a 'just get me there in one piece' prayer. Expectations are powerful. What we believe about what we 'should' be given, or how relationships and situations are 'supposed' to unfold, form the foundation of our emotional experience as consumers, parents and employees. The power of expectations is clearly evident when there is a change in our lives. Leaders often 'expect' employees to be excited about organizational changes, willing and able to grasp the vision. Employees expect that their leaders will keep them informed about every step of the transition, and understand their pain. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it? So, why is everyone angry, frustrated and looking for someone to blame during the hard parts of a change? Simply put, the real expectations we hold are seldom explored, clearly defined or shared. How can a leader, parent or team member 'manage' their expectations? Here are a few ideas: Explore your own expectations before stepping into change; ask yourself: What do I think will happen, how quickly and to what degree? What do I hope or anticipate others will do in response to the changes I'm initiating? What have others encountered when attempting a change of this size and importance that can inform my goals and plans? What will I do if my expectations are not met, or even understood? And now for the really important piece...share your expectations. Talk openly with those people who are involved in your change, or from whom you will need some sort of help or response in order to be successful. You just may find out that, the very person, team or company that you are depending on to cooperate with you has a different view of their participation. Preparation will keep you from experiencing a whole range of unpleasant emotions. And, it just might help you prepare a Plan B that, when push comes to shove- and it always does in a change - could save your bacon! Planning a change? Want to clarify your expectations first? Call me... Remember, you can change it - we can help!  For a good read on expectations, pick up Brian Reynold's book, What Do You Expect?  March 2012

What are you Learning this year?

The trouble with making change is that it's hard. Sometimes it's really hard. One of the things that makes change so stressful is that it almost always requires people to learn something new. Even when the goal is of the, 'stop doing that' variety, people still have to learn how to stop! Let's face it - if you wanted to do something, and you knew how to do it - you would have done it already. Learning Spanish has been on my bucket list for years. I took Spanish in High School and it's held a fascination for me ever since. I marvel at colleagues who can flip between languages with ease. I confess that I've always attributed superior intellect to those with the ability to shift gears in their head, speak in another tongue and never miss a beat. So, this is my year to learn! But, as I sit in front of my newly acquired Rosetta Stoneä Language Learning System, I face the same concerns that all changers do. I chose this, and I still have angst. Being in the change biz is helping me recognize the territory I'm in right now - I've made a good first step, had some initial fun and now begins the real work, and the second - guessing. Is this really going to be worth all the hours? Will I be able to master this?    What happens if I can't do it? I know there will be other stages along the way too - when I get about halfway through, I may want to quit altogether. It's the mile in the middle that's the hardest for would-be changers.   Forewarned is forearmed - right? You bet, and my Rosetta Stoneä System has anticipated my reaction to the murky halfway mark by hooking me up with learning buddies, on-line games and little rewards. Good for them. After walking thousands of learners down this same path, the Stoners have learned that, like my fellow changers, I'll need a leg up, some hope and a bit of fun to get me to my end goal. Where are you and your team in the change process? Just starting? Dangerously close to the middle-mile? What are you doing to shore up the resolve and decrease the stress that your team will demonstrate - through missed deadlines, absenteeism, dips in moral and a general sense of dread - when it comes to pushing hard enough to cross the finish line with this change? And, what do you know that, if they understood, would help them come to the same conclusion you have and stay on the bus?  So, let's take a page from their book, shall we?  If change were easy, everyone would do it. Remember, you can change it.... we can help! February 2012

Is Today the Day?

Time is interesting; we watch it, occasionally we waste it, grab it while it flies past us, and sometimes we even kill it. The ancient Greeks had two words for time. The first, chronos, refers to chronological or sequential time. It's the term we're the most familiar with. This is how we measure time -by minutes, days, years and seasons - increments of our lives that pass in a linear fashion. We think of chronos times in terms of a ticking clock or days stroked off our calendars and most of us agree that there never seems to be enough of this variety of time. Most change initiatives have time frames. When organizing a project we speak of start dates, time lines, schedules and the ever dreaded due date. We're well aware that time is finite, precious and that, if we don't stay on time, the project is doomed. But there is another kind of time - kairos time. Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). It is a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens. While chronos is quantitative, kairos is more qualitative in nature. Chronos is, as long as this earth continues to spin, predictable; and whether we welcome it's passing or not, it will pass. Kairos is described as, 'a passing instant when an opening appears which must be driven through with force if success is to be achieved'. It is a special increment of time, when extraordinary things are possible. Chronos happens every day, Kairos is rare, a time that perfect storms are made of. A Kairos moment is that space in chronos time when we are more aware, open, seeking, willing a change to happen. A Kairos moment is when loose ends get knotted together, when there is a unique opportunity to grow and shift in your thinking and consequently your behaviour. These moments are life changing, littered with Ah-has, and are not to be missed. The best time to change is when things are changing. If you're in the middle of a personal or professional transition - look around, listen for a pause in the ticking of your life and grab hold of that moment - breathe in a new idea. It's tempting to rush the days of our lives, stroking off events and encounters in an effort to get on with it. But if we take that approach in life or at work, we will miss the richness of those moments when possibility hangs in the air, when we are poised to grow, a mere breath away from a new beginning. What have been the Kairos moments in your past? How about your future? Will you recognize them? Do you look for them? Strong leaders watch for them, for themselves and their teams; they know that once the moment is past, it won't come again. Remember, you can change it, we can help!